It happened with the speed of the fluids that flood the body, mimicking your emotions when your words cannot, pink to the cheek, sea to the eye, acid in throat, urine seems to leak as the lips curl into each other, ying, yang. I walked home tonight with two bags full of food for the hungry fever I live above, heavy and tugging at my arms, the bottom breaks, and the soup fills the cement cracks and steams. I missed you then. The rest of the walk home my headphones were pointed outward, singing to the world, all I could hear was muffled speak. Like you laughing into a pillow. Like taking a step back from your painting, I could see the edge where the canvas stopped, and there was nothing but air, translucent and ominous, such a teasing mystery. And I'm angry because for the first time I see it all. I see the beginning, tinted purple and full of fear, and the end, quite the same. But the core, the waist of it all, was flawless, "a tumbling muse" found hers. 8 good months padded by five weeks to start, and five weeks to end, of selfishness. I was certain that this was it, the soft hands I'd curl into each night, and rise from for each new day. Every pair I had met prior to these, my blood in their veins or not, were too coarse, or suede, permanently damaged by my wetness. Like a delicacy, they just wanted to taste me, grope me while they could.

i thought i had it
i thought i had it
i thought i had it
i thought i had it
i thought i had it

She decides to leave the blow up mattress next to the twin bed, it's not a body, but it's something. Barefeet, barefloor, bare heartheadfuck beating. I was supposed to end the show with our song, I was supposed to end the show with our song, the soul purpose showing that jaded, is not jaded forever. But once again I stand here, rather sit and watch myself part from myself, put on a leather jacket and walk out.

He's gone. Is the room half empty or half full? [hahaha]